There are so many things that we get asked on a daily basis that we don’t have the answers to. So I’ll just save you the trouble by writing up this blog post telling you what your flight attendant doesn’t know so you don’t even have to bother asking next time.
Trust me, I really wish I could ease your anxiety and be able to tell you all the things you want to hear. Unfortunately that is not the case. So I spend most days making up answers or just telling everyone I don’t know, cause I don’t.
1. Your Flight Attendant doesn’t know what city we are currently flying over.
To be extremely honest we usually don’t even know what city we are flying to. A lot of the time we end up staring at each other wide eyed in the middle of making an announcement while we try to remember where we are going and hope we don’t say the wrong city and freak everyone out. When you fly 3-4 legs a day for 7 days in a row you really don’t care where you’re going. That is until you’re going home.
5. She doesn’t know when the best time to buy airline tickets is.
I hate to break it to you but 95% of the time I don’t pay for my flights. That’s why I work here. Your Flight Attendant doesn’t know how to travel like a “normal person.”
6. We don’t know what hotel we’re staying at for our layover.
I actually do know this, however for safety concerns I can not tell you where I will be sleeping tonight for the same reason people don’t give out their address to strangers. So don’t ask me more than once and think about what you’re really asking me. (This happens ALL the time)
7. If you will like a certain kind of beer on the flight when you already didn’t like the one I recommended to you.
Maybe you just don’t like beer. The same goes with all the other drinks/food items. I also do not know if we have anything that is Paleo or Keto or is acceptable for any diet plan you may be on.
8. If anyone will be sitting next to you for the flight.
I have some knowledge as to how full the flight will be but while the gate agent is boarding they’re also clearing upgrades and employees and rearranging passengers so families can sit together. So by the time all that happens there just might be someone next to you.
9. I do not have a map of Universal Studios.
We aren’t tour guides or travel agents.
10. Your Flight Attendant doesn’t know what time we will be taking off, how long we will be taxiing, when will we be landing, or if it’s going to be turbulent.
All these little questions that I know you really want the answer to I just can’t truthfully give you during boarding. At this point all I know is that the plane and crew are here and we are boarding. Anything, literally anything could happen within the next 30 min to an hour that could completely change things.
So the info that you have about takeoff time and landing time is the same information I’m hoping will be correct if all goes smoothly. So cross your fingers, say a prayer, tap the plane as you board, do whatever you need to do to bring us luck.
Till next time,
The Hoppy Flight Attendant
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